TAUNTON — Carol Salisbury brought her 4-day-old grandson home from the hospital — then was up for weeks trying to calm the infant born addicted to heroin.
 She fed him with a dropper filled with sugar water to keep him hydrated when he vomited continually.
 She held him close as he convulsed. She rocked, she paced, she cooed for hours upon hours.
 Then each day, for 30 days, she would carry him to a methadone clinic to wean him off the heroin.
 It was a grueling time for the-then 71-year-old woman.
 "When he slept, I slept," Salisbury, who now lives in Taunton, recalled. "He didn't sleep too much. ... I was, a lot of the time, exhausted."
 Salisbury, now 80, is one of the 2.4 million grandparents raising grandchildren in the country — and one of a growing number taking over because their own children are addicted to drugs.
 "This is the sandwich generation: these are the same people now who may have taken care of their parents and now that they have their parents' situations taken
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care of, are stuck again because of their children and grandchildren," said Krystie Vincent, who is raising four grandchildren after her two sons became addicted to heroin.
 But, several said, there are few services available to help these grandparents deal financially, physically or emotionally with raising infants, toddlers or teenagers often while still struggling to get their own children help.
 To compound the problem, many grandparents are reluctant to press for assistance, embarrassed about the situations that led to getting custody of the children or afraid the children will be taken away.
 "A lot of people are ashamed that their children are involved with substance abuse or incarcerated or dying of AIDS.
 They won't come out," said Diane Hubbard, 60, of Brockton, who runs the grandparents support group "Let's Do It Again," and has been raising her two grandchildren with her husband, Donald, after her daughter was murdered in 2004.
 Kathy Reynolds, executive director of Grandsplace (www.grandsplace.org), a Connecticut-based Web site and online support group, said substance abuse is the main reason why grandparents are raising grandchildren.
 "There are a lot of feelings you go through," Reynolds, who is raising her granddaughter, said.
 "When I started, I was thoroughly guilty and ashamed — ashamed not of my grandchildren, but I felt like it was my fault somehow. Then you realize, your child is an
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adult. She made her own decision and it wasn't our fault."
 Lois Carr, outreach coordinator at the Bourne Council on Aging which offers a grandparents support group, said the grandparents face a host of legal issues involving the children's care.
 "Should I adopt? Shouldn't I? What should I do, what is best?" Carr said.

Challenging time
 Many children of drug-addicted parents were born addicted to drugs themselves and may have a wide range of behavioral, physical or other problems.
 "The kids start off with a lot of issues," said Marilyn Lynt, assistant development director at Old Colony Elder Services. "They have a couple of strikes against them from the start."
 Salisbury shared that sentiment. "The kids are the victims," Salisbury said. "These children are the innocents."
 Debby Colgan, director of community development at South Shore Elder Services, said the grandparents also face financial problems as well as health issues.
 "There is the challenge of the elder to continue to age in a healthy way," she said. "Also, managing to stay connected to their peers, while taking care of their grandchildren."
 Both can be a challenge, several said.
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 Vincent, who is trying to start a support group for grandparents in Taunton, and her husband, Michael, are raising four grandchildren: two 4-year-olds, a 2 1/2 year old and a 15 month-old.
 She saw her grocery bill rise to more than $200 a week. She buys diapers and juice by the case.
 The last movie she saw was "A Shark's Tale" and she finds herself humming Laurie Berkner's "Under a Shady Tree" in the car — even during those rare times she's alone.
 Vincent gets up around 6 or 6:30 a.m. — at least a half hour before the children — to have a quiet cup of coffee.
 Then the children wake up. "I have early risers. Once their feet hit the floor, they're ready to go."
 Breakfast is usually yogurt, fruit, milk or juice.
 After cleanup, the children wash up, brush their teeth, get dressed and are off to day care in Lakeville for part of the day while Vincent runs errands.
 There's the wash — at least three loads each day, five when she changes the sheets.
 There's grocery shopping once a week. Once a week, she also goes to a warehouse store or local discount store to stock up on diapers, wipes and juice.
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 Dinner is at 4:30 p.m, bath is from 6 to 7 p.m. — in shifts.
 Bed is at 7 p.m.
 Vincent said she's bracing herself for soccer, Little League and dance classes.
 "You forget how much running around there is," she said. "God gave you children when you were young and stupid. God did not plan menopause and motherhood."

Blessings, worries
 Vincent said she still feels blessed with raising her grandchildren.
 Her own children are missing the best part of their lives — the every day things that youngsters do, she said.
 "You can never get back one day after it's been lived," Vincent said.
 But it can be lonely sometimes. Vincent said she goes to playgrounds and often is the only person over age 40.
 Then she spots an older face and knows it's another grandparent parenting.
 "It is almost like we have a code now," Vincent said.
 Health worries are a constant fear for many grandparents, said Marilyn Lynt, assistant development director at Old Colony Elder Services.
 "You are dealing not only with parenting
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issues, you are dealing with elder-care issues," she said.
 Salisbury worries what will happen to her grandson, Rocky, now 9, if she gets seriously ill or dies.
 Her daughter died several years ago and Salisbury, who moved to Massachusetts several years ago, has no immediate family to step in.
 "My greatest fear is that I would leave him," Salisbury, a widow, said. "He would go to the state and it would destroy him."
 Salisbury rents two rooms in a Taunton home owned by a member of her church and scrapes by on her Social Security check.
 Rocky, named for boxer Rocky Marciano, has Asperger's syndrome, a type of autism, and was born with bi-lateral club feet. "I named him Rocky because he's a fighter. He's been fighting since he was born. Rocky had to be a fighter," Salisbury said.
 Rocky loves Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, Pokemon and reading. He read Shakespeare's "The Tempest" because he wanted to and wrote a book report for school on the play. He likes baseball, his scooter, singing and games.
 He remembers everything.
 Salisbury volunteers at Head Start, stays active physically and mentally and said Rocky's needs are her top priority.
 "I would rather not eat and give Rocky what he needs," she said.
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 But it can be tough.
 Salisbury doesn't drive — her eyesight is too poor — and gets around either by bus or taxi. A special treat is lunch at the restaurant at the bus station.
 She finally got enough money to get a cell phone. She hasn't been able to find an affordable apartment — elderly housing won't allow Rocky to live with her and she can't live without Rocky.
 Life, though, is still good.
 "I was in the winter of my life and all of a sudden, God sent me spring and a rose named Rocky," Salisbury said.