"I know this drug is a monster,
but I need that monster"
By Maureen Boyle
ENTERPRISE STAFF WRITER
TAUNTON - Each day, he rubs Vitamin E on his arm to help the skin heal.
It is a trick he learned years ago to hide needle marks, the tell-tale signs of heroin use.
"I've learned a few things over the years," he said.
One of those things is that the grip of heroin addiction is not easy to break.
An addict from Taunton shows the scars on his arms from years of shooting heroin.
(Craig Murray/The Enterprise) After more than 20 years using heroin, the 45-year-old former Middleboro man once stayed clean for nearly two years - then started up again.
"This drug is a monster," he said. "I know this drug is a monster, but I need that monster."
James, who didn't want his name used, fearing arrest because he is still using heroin, is what experts call a "functioning" addict: he works by day and uses enough heroin to avoid withdrawal symptoms.
He works as a roofer and in the construction business, using his wages to buy drugs. "I don't steal," he said. "I don't do that. ... I work, Monday through Friday."
James buys his heroin daily on the streets of Taunton - he won't say from whom or where - and spends about $50 for half a gram daily.
When he started using heroin in his early 20s, he did it to get high.
Now, he does it to "get straight," the term used by addicts to stave off the nausea, the cramping, the diarrhea, the bone pain - just some of the symptoms of heroin withdrawal.
He has a son he rarely sees. He says his mother and siblings say he is welcome in their homes - but not while he's using drugs. He doesn't see them very often.
James said he is seeing a new breed of heroin addicts on the street. And it is frightening.
The newest addicts got hooked on OxyContin then moved to the cheaper heroin, he said.
And he knows what the future will hold for the young addicts, he said.
He has seen it on the streets for more than 20 years. He has lived part of it.
They will lose their families. They will lose their homes.
They will overdose and recover. They will overdose and die.
They will contract HIV from sharing needles. They will develop AIDS. They will die.
The grip of heroin will never leave, he said.
"Once you're hooked, you're hooked," he said. "It's going to grab you by the ass and you're done."
He said he knows he should stop using heroin.
But not yet. He's not ready, he said.
"It still has a hold on me," he said.
Maureen Boyle can be reached at mboyle@enterprisenews.com.
